A few of my favorite things in this world exist in and around the idea of Las Vegas. I love the trek through the desert that compels you to accelerate through the joshua trees for fear that getting stuck out there would make you truly and completely lost. It was made infinitely more famous by the opening sequence of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as “Bat Country.” One stretch in particular happens to be my favorite place of all time to drive a car. When I was young, I always called this 5 mile span of Pearblossom Highway “The Bumps.” I don’t advocate unlawful behavior (because I have to say that), but the universal rule of The Bumps is to step on the pedal until you feel at the edge of safety and then you accelerate just a little more. The Bumps are a piece of highway that was never properly leveled off, and accordingly rolls with the desert. Flying along it at great speeds is like riding a roller coaster in the middle of a dust storm. If you hit certain point just right your car can actually separate from the pavement for a fraction of a second. I’m sure the police of the greater Victorville area will appreciate my cataloging of their highway.

Eventually, I crossed out of Bat Country and met up with Josh and two of his friends in Victorville. I finished the rest of the trip with Josh in my car deciding on the rules of Bet-a-palooza, which was my idea to make the weekend more Vegas-like since we were going to try not to spend as much money as normal, but I still wanted to make things exciting. The general idea was that we would decide on a bet that was more of a dare than money and then pick anything to bet on. I will call this right now, Frank Rosenthal (the guy that Robert DeNiro portrayed in Casino) is no longer the greatest sports handicapper in the world. That is to say that my blind luck led me to win every single bet I made with Josh, and the only bet I didn’t win was a 4 way bet, which I still wasn’t the loser of. Our list of bets:

1. Wear a pink sparkly bracelet to the club on Saturday night
I bet that Manny Paquiao would rock Oscar De La Hoya in their fight Saturday night. Guess who won? Josh owes me a trip to the clubs wearing a sparkly pink bracelet when we go to Vegas for New Years. The explanation for that is in the next bet.

2. Pay for said bracelet
I decided horse racing is awesome and our next two bets were placed on random horse races starting while we sat in the sportsbook of Harrah’s Casino. We each picked a horse and decided that whoever’s horse did the best was the winner. My god-damned amazing horse won the race from a late start. Josh was now paying for and wearing a sparkly pink bracelet. The only problem is that the one I had picked out earlier ended up being part of a set of 5 you had to buy for $20. That and Josh was opportunistically lazy in looking for a replacement. So, one wasn’t found and he now has to wear a pink bracelet to a club for New Years where there will be a lot more patrons. Awesome.

3. Loudly say “…and that was the second time I got crabs”
Horse race two. The rematch. Guess who won? Oh ya, it was me again. My horse got second in this race and his got fourth. I didn’t capitalize on this bet yet because Josh and an accomplice disappeared from the club Saturday night. That was when Sam and I decided to take a gambling break and spent about 20 minutes at a blackjack table right outside of the club making more money than we had spent at the club. Also, there was absolutely nobody in Pure on Sunday, so I’m saving this bet for New Years as well. Josh is set up for awesome in a few short weeks.

4. Hit on a girl or set of girls of the winner’s choosing
I love the fact that I randomly pick winning bets on anything apparently. Sam is a huge Atlanta anything fan and the Atlanta Hawks were playing the Dallas Mavericks. The over/under on the whole game was 200 points. I randomly guessed under and the final score was 98 to 100. I win by two points haha. This one was attempted to be used, but Josh got hammered the first night and refused to hit on the girls I picked and he had an accomplice the second and third nights so it disappeared. Fair enough.

5. Buy 190 Octanes from Fat Tuesday’s
Kino is old people’s gambling, unless you place bets on it or are old. In the second case, you probably don’t see why it’s old people gambling and that is because you are part of “old people” and find crocheting exhilarating. For us in the first group, cheering for numbers to show up on the slowest casino game ever is epic. Josh and I filled out cards and stuck with them throughout an entire brunch. The first bet we placed was buying drinks from Fat Tuesday’s and my kino card hit 5 numbers, while his hit 1. Josh is buying.

6. Talk like a pirate for 5 minutes
Kino bet round 2 was the only set of bets that involved multiple people. This time it was Josh, his accomplice from the club, her friend, and me. Josh’s accomplice got first and her friend got last. This sucked because I think they both forgot about the bet and I never saw it happen. Oh well, it’s being used next time for sure and it didn’t stop Sam and I from talking like pirates for 5 minutes walking through the Bellagio after the buffet as “practice.”

Saturday we went to Audigier and because of the aforementioned Josh’s disappearance from that club, as well as his leaving our group to sleep at 11:15 on Friday night, we didn’t do a shot until Sunday. Actually, Sam and I did two shots because Josh’s little tummy couldn’t take the heat. I made up the first one with an ingredient choice from Josh’s accomplice. It’s mandarin vodka and Chambord. It was pretty damn tasty and apparently it is super close to the Absolut Dream shot I found on Drinksmixer. I think this would be a really good drink for girls, but it’s a little light for me. I would definitely recommend it over a lot of those gross sugary things you girls take.

Ingredients

1 Part: Absolut Mandarin Vodka
1 Part: Chambord Raspberry Liqueur

Instructions

I tried to be cool and make a layered shot, but either Chambord is too light or the bartender was a dick (most likely guess) and it wasn’t layered when I got it. I’m guessing they’re too close in consistency to layer properly. So, just mix in a shaker with ice and strain into glasses.

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Filed under: None by Cory